Chicken Fight Duo Tapped To Donate Sperm For Doomsday Lunar Ark Project

SECRET MOUNTAIN LAB - “Officials” from the scientific community, as well as a guy named Steve, announced today that they’re including samples of sperm from a carefully screened team of Chicken Fighting Champions to include in the future Doomsday Lunar Ark project.

Modeled on the concept of Noah’s Ark, only with less bible thumping and nagging god, the Lunar Ark will feature a repository of cryogenically frozen reproductive cells from 6.7 million species on our planet.

"We at the Department of Science and Role Playing Fantasy Gaming felt it was critical to include the sperm of some of our more mundane, less intelligent life forms here on earth, mostly because we came up 6.69 million intelligent species short when looking at our initial cell count. We tried just ‘rounding up’ but the number was still embarrassingly low.”

The guy in a white coat and lab glasses went on to say, “If lifeforms from another galaxy ever stumble across this repository of interplanetary idiocy, they’re going to have a good chuckle at just how fucking stupid human beings are, or at least were. Including these gladiators of the pool just seemed like a natural fit."

"Hell, we’ll probably blow ourselves up before we even get this project off the ground, which will definitely save the human race a lot of intergalactic embarrassment.”


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